Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
