Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
