hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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