Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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