He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
