I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
