is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
