so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
