it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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