now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
