You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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