Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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