Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
