It's Friday. Sex?
Just cropdusted the office
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
