I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
