i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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