Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
