My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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