Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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