I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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