You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
