Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm bleeding and have questions
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
