I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
