...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
