I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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