Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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