he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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