oh god the rape fog is back!
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
