A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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