She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
