I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
