i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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