You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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