I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
