First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
