i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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