You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
