you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
