I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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