Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
