i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
