they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
