he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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