And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
