Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
