I'm eating all of the evidence.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Come on in and take your pants off
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