Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
