don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We need to get me chipped asap
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
