dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
