She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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