Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
