there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
