what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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