So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
